What are Red flags for Escorts?

All too often we see providers posting “wtf is wrong with this person?”, “why is this person so vindictive?”, “why are they stalking me?”, “why so manipulative?”etc.

Red flag is a social media buzzword implying some sort of toxic behaviour, but how do we spot red flags?, what do red flags really mean?, how do we use red flags?

What do red flags mean?

Red flags are toxic behaviours that people subconsciously do and “give away” their personality. We all have toxic traits that we give off from time to time, however people who constantly display toxic behaviour can indicate something far more sinister, and should be avoided at all costs. If you find someone to be “draining”, “dishonest”, “demanding”, “confusing” or “off”, your instinct is trying to warn you.

ALWAYS LISTEN TO YOUR GUT INSTINCT!

This can be especially difficult for those in service industries –

What are some client red flags for escorts?

Red flags to watch out for –
1) Doesn’t read the ads, has no intention of ever doing so.
2) Texts “Hi”, “You avail” etc.
3) Wants “bare” services, see 7).
4) Asks for services on OF, Text or DM where it is expressely forbidden.
6) Asks for services that are listed as restrictions.
6) Sends “????” 5 minutes after a message, and keeps repeating.
7) Doesn’t take “NO” for an answer.
8) Tries to haggle rates, says “But another provider will do y for x amount”.
9) Refuses screening, or deliberately sends rubbish.
10) Name calls.
11) Gossips negatively about other providers, spouses, exe’s etc.
12) Promises gifts, reviews etc and never delivers.
13) Has a sexual itinary for the 1st date.
14) Demands to be 1st in line, wants prefferential treatment etc.
15) Tries to get milage without paying a deposit, says “I only pay cash” etc.
16) Thinks the deposit entitles them to unlimited messages.
17) Asks for “proof” via pics, chat or video.
18) Sends unsolicited nude pics and/or expects a discount for his “special” weiner.
19) Tries to rush the appointment before the funds have cleared.
20) If they feel rejected or injured by you, they go all out to destroy you in any way possible.

What are some escort red flags for clients?

We deal with this question in depth on our Escort booking advice page which deals with learning how to spot scammers and fakes and identify real providers.

As you can see there are similarities in our private lives too –

What are civ red flags to look out for?
1. They seem too good to be true – Yes, it’s an act.
2. They agree with your wishes, dreams and goals – They “mirror” you.
3. They are evasive and don’t answer direct questions, their answers are vague at best.
4. They have double standards, ie. they take their time but expect you to respond immediately.
5. They are overly familiar/sexual too early on.
6. They send/request nude pics.
7. They lie to you – Age, height, money, single etc.
8. They usually want something from you – now!
9. They accuse you of the things they are doing.
10. They don’t really want to know about your life, pets, kids, sickness, job etc.
11. They are constantly telling you how great they are, and will always turn the conversation back to themselves.
12. They try to speed up the relationship – move in, engagement, marraige etc.
13. They brag about drug/alcohol/porn use.
14. They expect you to be “on call” and drop everything for them.
15. Their logic is damaged – ie, You tell them you lost your job, are overdrawn/broke etc and they expect you to spend money you don’t have.
16. They ask for money/borrow money without even knowing you.
17. They talk badly about others, esp their ex.
18. Their manners need a lot of work.
19. They “drain” you or make you uncomfortable/scared/stressed/worried.
20. You begin to doubt them/yourself.
21. They over-react when questioned.
22. Nothing is ever their fault and apologies are shallow/meaningless.
23. They totally ignore your boundaries/rules/wishes.
24. They rage like children when angry/upset.
25. You think you are talking to a child sometimes.
26. They ghost you for no real reason, weeks/months later they will attempt to “suck” you back up asif nothing happened (Hoovering).
27. Memory lapses – they don’t remember saying things, agreeing to something etc – you are a liar.
28. You find yourself apologising for asking or trying to clarify something.
29. They continually create drama out of things that normally wouldn’t upset you.
30. They don’t understand the meaning of “NO”.
31. They gaslight you into disbelieving yourself.
32. Empty promises come easily to them.
33. They are quick to accuse you of lying, cheating, manipulation, disrespect etc. This is actually a form of “reflection” where the narcissist wrongly assumes that you are doing the same things they are doing.
34. They lack compassion – It is very difficult for them to show genuine sympathy.

If you see more than a few of these signs – run now and save yourself a world of heartache.

Often we see these signs and think that they can be overcome – THEY CAN’T!

What is narcissistic personality disorder (NPD)?

Experts believe that narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) stems from childhood, either the child –
a) Feels unloved, overlooked, neglected, unappreciated, unwanted, or
b) Is unduly praised, spoiled, allowed to misbehave, or
c) Grows up in a narsissistic environment and mimics those around them.

They are sometimes also referred to as “social vampires” due to their Dr Jeckel/Mr Hyde tendencies, and the desire to “suck” everything out of everyone around them and destroy anyone who dares to challenge or reject them.

The only outward clues of NPD are listed as “Red Flags” above, people who have more than a few “red flags” are most likely suffering from a form of NPD.

Most experts decline treating NPD, saying that they have slim to no chance of undoing a lifetime of toxic thinking and behaviour, it usually takes a tragic event and many years of self discovery for a narcissist to change their way of thinking.

What are some narcissistic tendencies?

They aren’t interested in other people’s problems – Narcissists lack empathy, they are unable to recognise the plight of others and have to copy sympathy from their peers – often getting it very wrong.

They are charming and magnetic – Narcissists go all out to make a good 1st impression, if someone is “Too much” or “Too nice” the chances are your intuition is correct.

They are a take-charge leader – Narcissists are great at taking charge and delegating tasks. This doesn’t last long as they expect everyone else to do all the work and the workers soon tire of being taken advantage of, being spoken down to, and their ideas and hard work hijacked.

They go through friends fast – It doesn’t take long before people realize “something is wrong” with the narcissist and pull away.

Narcissists need a constant “supply” of affirmation and admiration, so will continue to seek out new victims while also trying to “hoover” up past friendships and relationships with empty promises.

They are master manipulators – Narcissists are skilled in the arts of manipulation and exploitation to the point of “gaslighting” you into believing their lies, the purpose of which is to cause confusion and leads you to question your own sanity.

They can’t stop talking about themselves – Delusions of grandeur, and the belief that they are superior to those around them causes them to come across as arrogant, braggy and indifferent.

Narcissists are unable to digest criticism – They will attempt to blame anything/anyone to shift the focus from them. Failing this they resort to outbursts and tantrums as a last resort and can become extremely violent when they feel threatened.

Narcissists are obsessed with appearances – They will always try to outdo “the Joneses” – even at the expense of running into huge debt, commiting fraud, breaking laws or going hungry in order to be the most admired in their circle.

They won’t take “NO” for an answer – A narcissists ego and sense of superiority does not allow for rejection – EVER. A study done by the University of Georgia found that narcissistic men were far more likely to rape or sexually assault another person.

They are very insecure – On the inside they’re vulnerable, their self-esteem fluctuates, they are self-conscious and not very proactive.

They are sexually promiscuous – People with NPD are more likely to sleep with many partners and to cheat in every relationship according to the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, they may also get a perverse pleasure in convincing others to do things they normally wouldn’t do.

Overt narcissists do not see NPD as a disorder – They are surprisingly willing to self-identify as narcissists as it allows them to differentiate themselves from others as “special”. In business narcisissm is often mistaken as “businesslike”, “ruthless” etc and they tend to rise to upper management.

They create drama – Narcissists hate peace and are always on the lookout for reasons to create arguments.

They usually have dependancy issues – Narcissists don’t usually see a problem with breaking laws and tend to brag about drug and/or alcohol abuse. Unfortunately decades of alcohol/substance abuse leads to serious mental and health problems which sometimes cannot be rectified (The 7 Stages of addiction).

They lack remorse – Caught red-handed, a narcissist is NEVER at fault. YOU caused them to do it and the apology (if any) is shockingly callous.

What are the signs of Sexual Narcissism?

Sexual compulsivity.
Casual attitude towards sex, STI’s etc.
Sense of entitlement.
Inflated sense of sexual ability.
Promiscuity.
Sexual manipulation.
Extramarital affairs.
Sexual boredom.
Excessive pornography use.
Sexual sensation-seeking.
Increased number of sexual partners.
Sexual aggresion.
Low level of emotional intimacy.
Sexual disatisfaction.
Drug/Alcohol abuse.

What is a covert narcissist?

Relationship/friendship/family wise, covert narcissists are the most dangerous, . They are able to contain their toxic behaviour until it is far too late for you to recognize or do anything about. Very often they are able to conceal themselves by seeming to be highly involved in volunteer/animal/religious causes.

They usually prefer to play the victim and are extremely judgemental and jealous of others which is their biggest flaw – the classic “Karen”.

What is an overt narcissist?

An overt narcissist is an “obvious” narcissist, also sometimes called “Grandiose narcissists”. They are usually male, success driven, “Alpha” leader types who will bore you with their tales of prowess, intimidate those around them, blatantly lie, cheat and steal while thinking that lesser mortals will never realize what they are doing. They struggle to show compassion or consideration for others (cold & uncaring).

The only “cure” is to distance them, ignore them completely (the “grey rock” method”).
Blocking this type of narcissist usually results in them going to extreme measures to badmouth you (lying), harass you (stalking) and they will attempt to destroy you by any means possible.

Do narcissists know they are narcissists?

Yes they do, for example – they will treat you well in public and wait until you are alone before ranting at you over something others would label as “silly”.

Narcissists don’t see a problem with their behaviour, to them it’s an advantage and mental health experts are quick to admit that treating NPD is usually futile.

What is an Empath?

An empath is the natural “prey” of the narcissist, who they see as “soft”, “weak” people because they genuinely care about others and try to see the good in others.

Narcissists believe that they can control empaths to do their bidding and to supply the narcissist with the help, love, respect, adoration they so desperately desire. Unfortunately this desire is endless and the narcissist will attempt to capture as many empaths as they can.

What are green flags in a civ relationship?

1. Their words and actions align.
2. They make you feel appreciated.
3. They apologize when they are wrong.
4. They communicate clearly and honestly.
5. They put your needs before theirs.
6. They set, honor, respect and obey boundaries.
7. They speak about others with respect, including their exe’s.
8. They encourage you to connect with others.
9. They try to resolve conflicts peacefully.
10. Nothing is too much trouble.
11. They consider others plight, feelings.
12. They work on personal growth.
13. They give you space to do your own thing.
14. You don’t have to watch your words.
15. They remember the small details.
16. They listen without being defensive.
17. They make you feel energized.

It can be shocking to some to realize what is actually going on around them, finally realizing why family and/or long time friends act strangely is a massive blow to your psyche. This article is only a brief insight to a complicated subject, for more info we urge you to Utube the extensive videos on the subject.

The purpose of this article is to enlighten those who were blind to narscisstic abuse, under no circumstances should you confront a narcissist or attempt to “heal them”.
Even trying to get them to seek therapy could result in catastrophe.

Stay safe & be careful!

Julian K

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